Once there was a couple who
could not agree what to name
their newly-born boy. The
husband wanted the boy to be
named after his grandfather, but
the wife wanted him to be named
after her grandfather.
The couple brought their problem
to the Rabbi.
"I don't see the problem, why
can't you just name him after
both grandfathers?"
"Oh, that wouldn't work. Both
of them were called Chaim!"
How often do we find ourselves
arguing for the sake of it, even
when it makes no
difference to the outcome?
Pirkei Avos, the Ethics of the
fathers, relates that 'any
argument which is not for the
sake of Heaven, will not
prevail.' Pirkei Avos brings
the example of Korach's argument
with Moshe, which we read in
this week's Torah portion, as
the stereotypical example of an
argument 'not for the sake of
heaven.'
Not only was Korach upset that
Moses and Aaron had assumed
positions of leadership when he
felt that 'all of the nation are
Holy' but he took his argument
even further. Why should he not
be in a position of leadership?
He was presenting a seemingly
reasonable argument out of
concern for 'the community',
then adding in his own agenda,
something like 'Why should you
lead? We are all Holy. Anyway,
it's not fair, I should be the
leader.'
If we are honest with ourselves,
when we find ourselves at odds
with others, is it really for
the right reasons? Is it really
'for the sake of Heaven'? Or do
we really have our own agenda?
Are we really so concerned about
'the right thing' or are we
following our own private goals?
There are times when it is
necessary to take a stand.
Pirkei Avos speaks about
'arguments for the sake of
Heaven', where it is necessary
to stand firm. Other times,
however, 'not for the sake of
Heaven', are not productive and
in fact are usually destructive.
It takes a lot of introspection
and honesty to analyse our
motives behind being
argumentative or belligerent.
However, taking such an approach
can prevent so much unnecessary
pain and strife in the world
that it is worth the extra
effort and self-analysis
involved.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Mordechai